Yer Webmaster's Photo Album

	Hi there. I'm the webmaster BJ (Barney Junior). Most people know me as Stephen Kennedy. I live in a trailer park in Minatare. That's a little hick town in western Nebraska where a tornado went through it back in the early 1990's and managed to miss all of the trailer houses. We found out that hell froze over the same day. There is actually a story about it in the "Guiness Book of You Gotta' Be Shïttin' Me". I like corn dogs and tater tots. My favorite song is Special Olympics featuring my older sister's boyfriend on backup vocals.
	This is my mom. Her name is Bernice. She has lots of boyfriends and one of them even has a job. She says with a little luck I could be a garbage man in Minatare some day. She calls my grandpa "Uncle Dad" for some reason. The only picture of him is down at the post office on the bulletin board and they won't let me have it. Assholes.
	This is my brother Hank. Mom calls him the good looking one. He is in jail again. When he gets out next time he is not allowed to be around animals or kitchen appliances. One time he got lucky and didn't have to go to jail. They said he was trying to smuggle books into Minatare. But he got off on a technicality because nobody here could prove they were books.
	This is my twin brother Bert. We were born 4 minutes apart. Bert made medical history when my mom sneezed and he fell out of her butt during birth. He's ugly and I hate him.
	My grandma lives with us in our trailer. She smells real bad like old cheese and dead fish. She likes to hang out in bars and drink beer. Grandma has sores all over. The flies in her room are terrible.
	My mom says she is almost positive that this is my dad since his name is Barney too. He lives in a federal penitentiary in Montana. When he gets out in 55 years we are going fishing at Lake Minatare.
	My younger sister Wendy (who sux at HTML) lost all of her teeth. She was licking a mixer beater after mom made a cake and my brother Hank plugged it in. Wendy doesn't bite the mailman anymore. She tries to tell people that this is really her website. I'm gonna kick her toothless ass if she doesn't shut up.
	All of us are real proud of my oldest brother BS (Barney Senior). He is 27. Not sure why mom named both of us Barney. He wants to be a doctor and can write his own name without cheating. What's a proctologist?
	This is my older sister Sue Ellen. She has 7 kids and they all look different. One of them looks like my brother Hank. She had 10 kids but she only kept the ones that had all 12 fingers and sold the rest. She has a disease that makes her itch and smell like fish. All the cats in the trailer park really like her.
	This is Sue Ellen's boyfriend for now. His name is Corky and he sang backup vocals on my favorite song Special Olympics. He fixes lawn mowers downtown. Sue Ellen says he has a hairy ass. He has a rectal infection that makes him fart a lot now. He used to have a hamster until he got the infection. I think I know where his hamster went.
	Jethro is my 1st cousin. He sells corn down by highway 26 in the summer. He once went 53 days without taking a bath. Jethro is going to be a dentist some day. He does all the work on our teeth.
	This is Michael Depends. He used to be my best friend but he got killed by the little bus at school when he tried to wrestle with it after he sniffed some gasoline. That gasoline is some bad stuff. His parents had his last name printed on all of his underwear for some reason.
	These are the twins from next door that we throw stuff at. They used to be triplets. Mom says we can't throw heavy stuff no more. Ever since the accident one of them dresses like a girl and wears perfume.
	This lady is Nancy. She always asks me if I want a ride when I walk by her trailer but she don't have a car. I don't know what she wants me to ride. Sometimes she tries to show me her kitty but I know she don't have no cat neither. I really like Nancy because she makes my weiner grow when she talks to me.
	Jake holds the trailer park record. He once jumped his Kawasaki over 7 trailers. Jake crashed a lot and talks real slow now. His mom says he washes his weiner a lot. Really fast too. He still dates my younger sister Wendy (who sux at HTML).
	This is my uncle Steve. He has 12 fingers just like my mom and super glued one of his hands to his head. He calls grandpa "Uncle Dad" just like my mom does. He has a steel plate in his head and he shïts his pants every time somebody in the trailer park runs a microwave oven.
	My uncle Marky is still having problems. He is a Vietnam war hero and sells perfume at a department store in Scottsbluff. He has a friend in that just moved to Minatare that he calls Janice who is really an ugly guy that dresses up like an even uglier girl. They both need to wear longer skirts because you can see their balls most of the time.
	My great grandma is lots of fun. She still chews tobacco and talks to people that really aren't there. Grandma doesn't have any teeth but she dates younger men with teeth. They say they like her head with no teeth. Why would they say something like that? Grandma is teaching my younger sister Wendy (who sux at HTML) how to get a boyfriend even though she doesn't have any teeth left.
	My cousin Eddie went to New York last summer. A piece of the Statue Of Liberty fell off and hit him in the head. Eddie now has the I.Q. of a potted plant and slobbers a lot. He's funny.
	We found Willy sleeping under our trailer one night. Mom is teaching him how to use toilet paper now. He says that him and Elvis are running against each other for mayor of Minatare in the next election. He said he will change his name to Barney if he wins. That's nice.
	This is the latest addition to my photo album. This piece of cheese is Max E. Pad and he is the guy that stole minatare.net and minatare.org from me so he could give them to the city of Minatare but he screwed up and gave them back to me by mistake. I think his college degree in business management must have been mail ordered or he got it out of a box of Cracker Jacks. I salute you, Captain Douche Bag! But here's the good news, I let 'em expire. Feel free to have them back, I'm sure they're real useful now! This photo is used without permission because Max also uses stolen graphics and stolen software on his company's website and the web sites he paid to set up for his company's choice customers (all of which look like a high school kid made them). If it's good enough for him to do it, then it must be OK with him when somebody else returns the favor.