Yer Pictures

	October 13, 2006: (Submitted by Spånkênstêïn) Happy "Friday the 13th"! Well, summer is over, and here is a photo from our fall weenie roast. They had a special price on these multi-weenie rotisseries at The Home Depot and I had to get one for my boy. I'm still not sure why they had these in the lawn and garden center instead of the appliance section. Since we only saw the bug sprayer guy about a half dozen times this year, there were still enough mosquitos around to make it feel like a real summer cook-out. The poor guy in the background is from Scottsbluff and he was holding his nose closed all night long because of the feedlot odor. He said "I've never had a hotdog before that tasted like it was basted with bullshït and crusted with mosquitos". It's a beautiful thing when you can help city folks experience new foods and cultures. Next year, we're going to add boiled crawdaddies from the irrigation ditch with mushrooms from the feedlot to the menu. You talk about a tasty treat that's hard to beat! Those mushrooms are the best tasting ones around, but they do tend to make you see and hear things that really aren't there.
	May 7, 2006: (Submitted by Jâck Schîtt) Hey-Hey, whadya' know, Minatare's first wedding of 2006. As you can probably tell by looking at the picture, the wedding was held down at the Minatare Volunteer Fire Department clubhouse when everybody was out fishin' at the lake. It is my honor to present to you, my nephew / son-in-law and his brand new blushing bride, Mr. and Mrs. Dumb Schîtt! My nephew / son-in-law says "she's a whole lotta' woman" and he's right, we had to get her bridal gown custom made at Omaha Tent & Awning Company since no bridal shops around here had one in her size (Bovine). I've recently updated our family tree to include this recent Schîtt/Schîtt union, click here if you don't know shït about the Schîtt family and want to know more. (My apologies to the Minatare Volunteer Fire Department for the condition we left the bathrooms in. Those baked beans you left in the fridge were a little old & too spicey.)
	February 18, 2006: (Submitted by Dr. Démêntø) The picture submitted here on January 25, 2006 inspired me to draw a portrait of the Minatare Mayor's Mansion. Sorry, I couldn't help myself. I've been trying to sell my house in Minatare for months now, and every potential buyer has told me that they would have to wait until after the next election to see what changes with the "city government" before they would buy here. So, I guess if I'm going to be stuck here until 2007 or later, I might as well have a little artistic fun and submit it for you to post on your website. I think it's actually a pretty accurate likeness.
	January 30, 2006: (Submitted by Härrÿ Whö?) While the cops are out busting everyone's balls for letting trash pile up on their property, why don't they do something about the trash that actually owns the property? Take this photo for example, it's a trailer trash hot-tub party with a bunch of underage people drinking. I can just imagine what the boy in the hot-tub on the right side is leaning forward for. Bobbing for apples, my ass! That is, unless, the boy on the left is named "Apples". These revolting parties go on every weekend all summer long, and last year was the worst since we still had 80 degree days up until November 1.
	January 25, 2006: (Submitted by Ädölph Gübër) Here's yet another fine example of people living the American Dream of being a home owner in Minatare. A trailer house on a residential lot with garbage piling up outside. You don't want to run the risk of adding 11 cents to your property taxes by using the garbage dumpsters, do you? Since this dive still hasn't been cleaned up, one must assume that this is the mayor's mansion and has immunity to the city's penalties for being a public eyesore. However, I do have one question. Is that a storage shed, or is it the trailer trash equivalent of a guest house?
	January 19, 2006: (Submitted by Änönÿmöüs) In keeping with the tradition of the homemade sign they taped up on the wall in the city office building, I made sure to scan this picture taped to a piece of black construction paper. Who knew the mayor was a contortionist? I went to a city council meeting last year and luckily I had my camera phone with me. They were discussing ideas to clean up Minatare. When they asked the mayor if he had any ideas, he said he would have to think about it. He then took this position and stayed that way throughout the remainder of the meeting. A couple weeks later, a letter arrived with my water bill saying the police were going to start handing out citations for various eyesores, ranging from non-running cars on residents' private property, to anything they consider junk piling up. I can only assume this picture proves where that idea came from since this new "law" only appears to apply to certain Minatare residents, because it still looks like "little shïthole on the prairie" to me.