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This is the Minatare Technology Center. This is where the minatarenebraska.com website is developed and
hosted on our in-house Intel 486 powered servers and served up on our AOL dial-up internet connection.
All of the tourists come to see us and buy computers. We're having a TRS-80 Color Computer
blowout sale. Come get yours today while supplies last!
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This is the highly trained technical support and sales staff at the Minatare Technology Center.
In this picture you can see Homer (back) showing Gomer (front) where the "Any" key is
located on the keyboard. Everybody on staff here is A+ and MCSE certified. At least the diplomas
hanging on the wall that they bought online say they are certified and that's all that really
matters. As they say at city hall, paper talks and bullshït walks.
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When you come to visit Minatare you will have to see the brand new state of the art computer lab
that we set up for the school. They now have brand new TRS-80 Color Computers
with cassette drives and lots of arcade game cartridges and we upgraded all of them to 16K of RAM.
The school is really happy with these because they can't run Windows or connect to the internet so
they can't get viruses. We still have quite a few of these babies left for sale at the Minatare
Technology Center. Come get yours today while supplies last!
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This is a picture of the city hall as it was being built a long time ago. The picture proves that
Minatare has always been all about the trailer trash. City hall used to be a single-wide trailer
and they converted it to a double-wide with a brick wall around it. Minatare is very proud of its
trailer trash heritage. Go Indians!
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This is the Minatare public swimming pool. No diving is allowed in the pool because it's not deep
enough. But there are plenty of dives for sale in Minatare in case you really want a dive. I have
never been swimming here because they say this man pees in the pool all the time. He says that's
how they make heated pools. I think that's just nasty.
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This picture of my house was taken when we lived out by Lake Minatare and I think it's a tourist
attraction. Now we have it at the trailer park in town. When it has air in the tires me and my
sister Wendy (who sux at HTML) move it around the park when mom and grandma are passed out drunk.
It really messes with their heads when they wake up.
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This is our custom built houseboat that we keep out at Lake Minatare. It has been pictured in lots
of magazines. We're selling this one and building us a double-wide next time. It's the fastest one
in the world because it has a Hemi. When you flush the potty, the poop goes out the bottom into the
lake. Don't swim too close behind it if one of us is in the bathroom!
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This is our custom built motor home that we take on vacation. It has been pictured in lots of
magazines and has a Hemi too. Last summer we took it to Disneyland and I got molested by the guy
in the Mickey Mouse costume. You should have seen the look on his face when my mom and my grandma
and my great grandma caught him and made him do all three of them next.
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This is Billy Joe Jimbob and he built his own two story trailer house out at Lake Minatare. From
what he says this is the only trailer house in the world with an upstairs and a downstairs. Last
month he bought a horse tank so he can put in an indoor pool. People come from miles around just
to see his two story trailer house. We are all real proud of Billy Joe Jimbob here in Minatare.
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The smartest guy in Minatare lives right here. When everybody's gas bill started going up this
year he invented a way to fix all of the drafts in his trailer to keep his gas bill down. He says
stupid people just put plastic over their windows. He put plastic all the way around his trailer
house since he's not stupid. But now he's stuck inside until he cuts a hole in the plastic so he
can go get his food stamps. Since "Ripley's Believe It, Or Not" wants this for their
museum it's considered a Minatare tourist attraction now.
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This was going to be a picture of the coolest looking trailer house in Minatare but the guy who
lives here lost his job and cashed in all of his aluminum siding at the recycling center so he
could gas up his car. It used to be painted up to look like the White House
in Washington DC and it was the biggest tourist attraction we ever had in Minatare. That's sad.
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Here is the owner of the trailer house in the picture right above this. His name is Brian. He is
still walking the streets of Scottsbluff trying to find work. We don't have any more jobs at the
Minatare Technology Center or we would hire him. It would be real nice if you give him a couple
dollars when you come to visit Minatare on vacation. Brian says he promises not to spend the money
on booze or drugs or hookers.
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