Let Me Type That Out In Braille For You

Some people just need you to type things out in braille and jam it up their ass before they’ll actually understand and remember what you tell them. I swear there are some people who only listen to you long enough to tell when you’ve stopped talking and can’t be bothered to remember shit. Then they lose their shit and get butt-hurt when you are forced to get their attention with a rude wake-up call, because I guarantee that ruining their day will absolutely make them remember what caused that bad day for them.

There once was this woman out here where I live that constantly bothered me with the most stupid computer questions. One time I asked her how she had gotten by using a computer all these years without knowing these things. She herself said “maybe I just need to take a class on computer basics at the community college” and I never agreed or disagreed. One time shortly after that, she asked how to view the pictures on her camera. I said plug it into a USB port on the computer and use the file browser (she’s on Linux). She actually had to ask what the file browser was even though she uses it every day. I finally said “I think you were right, you should go take a class on computer basics“. Suddenly, I’m an asshole, but at least she started remembering things after that bad day (sorry, I don’t hunt down people’s computer problems for a hobby).

It seems as if some people just can’t be bothered to remember anything or RTFM (read the fucking manual) if they think that it’s perfectly acceptable to constantly ask you the same questions over and over again. These people are referred to as Ask-Holes and Homey don’t play that. If I’ve answered the question once and that answer is also contained in a manual, I have to assume that reading just isn’t your forte’ and you probably just need to stop using whatever it is that’s confusing you so often. Seriously, sometimes you just have to admit defeat. If you can’t read and remember, step away from the device with your hands in the air.

But wait, there’s more! It isn’t just computers that send the memory challenged Ask-Holes to me. Nay nay, people with zero self awareness are by no means in short supply these days and conveniently forget things, thinking that will save them from getting their feelings hurt again. I may not be on Facebook anymore, but I definitely remember who convinced themselves that they were making a serious point by unfriending me and I see no reason not to honor that decision of theirs even after I have left Facebook. Same reason I never went to a class reunion. If I didn’t like you then, I probably still don’t like you now, and have no desire to see you again.

A couple years ago, my niece got mad at me for stating an actual fact that didn’t shine a very bright light on her dad and grandmother, and she thought that she could “send me a message” by erasing me for it. A few days ago, my brother thought I needed to know that he and her were out celebrating her 21st birthday by going out to have adult beverages and I had to remind him that I really don’t care what she’s doing. Self awareness took the back seat and I had to tell him again what I told him the day that happened. Here’s the beauty of being adopted…If I ever fall out of favor with a relative, I don’t care, I’ll just replace you with somebody else that looks like you and I’m right back in the race. (They’ve earned a followup post here)

Sometimes you just have to ruin someone’s day to get your point across to make them finally remember what they were told. People will always remember when you caused them to have a bad day.