Top 10 Douchebaggery Exhibits Of 2023

I generally avoid in-person interactions as much as possible because I haven’t had a cold since I started working from home in 2015, and I’m in no hurry catch somebody else’s virus again. With that being the case, I mostly communicate with people via email or text message where many of them like to exaggerate and fabricate shit because you can’t read their expressions and body language. Phone calls aren’t much better because people will rehearse their conversation before the call so they don’t stumble over words. But, if you’re full of shit, no amount of rehearsal is going to save you.

If it isn’t idiots hiding behind lies using their phone or computer, they’re often times hiding behind outdated or irrelevant education or training that they fully believe makes them smarter than you. I’m sorry, your degrees in gender studies and underwater basket weaving don’t impress me. Just because you took a course on computer security doesn’t make you an OS expert or an API integration specialist either. I believe all claims in LinkedIn profiles about as much as I believe Biden’s claims about the economy. Be able to prove that you’re as great as you think you are, or just shut the fuck up.

Here are the top 10 ways that people electronically exhibited Terminal Douchebaggery to me in 2023.

Chronic Trump hating crybabies. Rather than constantly crying about Trump, why don’t you point out all of the great accomplishments by this incoherent money laundering potato that’s driving the whole country right off a cliff, I’ll wait.

People who get recreationally offended. Most people plan recreational activities that involve hobbies, the outdoors, sports, etc. But, last year I discovered a whole new passtime, you simply wake up looking for a reason to be offended.

The laughable “OK Boomer” insult. This one is just about as funny as calling me “cracker” and honestly, I still can’t figure out how to be offended by either one. But when I respond with “OK Renter” the little pukes 100% lose their shit.

Masters of the latest buzz words. Some people seem to think that they can litter a conversation with the latest buzz words, even if used incorrectly, and they won’t look like an absolute douchebag. Sorry, Soy Team 6, you’re douchebags.

You’re a racist, or you’re a pedo insults. This is what happens when you successfully beat a low IQ lamer and they realize that they’ve been officially owned. Proof that they’ve exhausted all other avenues to perpetuate their bullshit.

Askholes that don’t remember shit. Common problem with people who get high on their own farts. They waste your time repeatedly with the same questions and act like you’re not willing to help when you say “asked and answered”.

Group text message conversations. If you think that I want to watch my phone battery die early because of your little group conversation that I didn’t ask to be part of, I promise that I’ll sign up your phone number for endless spam texts.

Pronouns in your email signature. Sorry, I’m not playing make-believe with anybody, your mental disorder doesn’t need affirmation from me. My pronouns are Dilligaf/Phuckoff, and I’m not moved or impressed by email signatures.

Unintelligible initials in email signatures. Who the fuck do people think they’re impressing with this cryptic bullshit? There is zero chance that I will ask what they stand for because I don’t give two rat’s asses about your certifications.

I support the latest trending cause idiots. I honestly don’t give a shit what the media and government says I should support. People who do are gullible weak minded sheep, I bet you’re also vaxxed and boosted, and still wear a mask.

Remember when we had to whack the TV because it wasn’t coming in clearly? I believe that the same procedure would be useful in helping many people make sense these days. It’s safe to say that there are many people who are seriously lucky that they don’t have to deal with me in person because I’d probably spend a lot of time in jail. I think back to when they said that the advent of the internet would create a smarter and better informed world. Yeah, sorry, that sure as fuck isn’t even remotely similar to what it actually did. It just created a new species of slobbering retarded douchebags.