Stupid Facebook Users

If it’s on Facebook, then it absolutely has to be true!

As I’ve said many times, Facebook is easily responsible for dwindling the average IQ score in this country to a double-digit number and that number is decreasing in value daily. The shit that Facebook users fall for, even though it’s on Facebook (the world’s greatest source of misinformation), just blows my mind. People that I took to be relatively intelligent, get on Facebook and the only message that they convey to the world is that they’re a gullible slobbering idiot. Below are some prime examples of what I’m talking about.

“I’m seeing too many ads, click here – copy & paste, then repost to reset the system” – Gullible douchebags like you are in the top 50% of the reasons why I walked away from that website. Really? You think your two-digit IQ is faster and smarter than the AI software running their data centers? Get the fuck of the internet already, retard!

“Put orange peels under your Christmas tree, they will keep your cat away from it” – Oh yes, there’s no chance in hell that the cat will think they’re toys to swat around under the tree and knock it over. I saw that one posted with a comment saying that it’s worth a try. Ummm, pulling your head out of your ass is worth a try too!

“Facebook is only showing me posts from 25 friends, until I coped and pasted this to beat the algorithm” – Bullshit, you fucking first-rate retard! Exactly how smart do you think you are? You can’t do long division on paper and you think you outsmarted their AI software? Would you get the fuck back on the short bus and finish licking the gawdamn windows?

“Whomever shares this post with an Amen shall be blessed with financial gain” – Really? God has a Facebook page now too? What ever happened to that old saying which states that money is the root of all evil? Fucking cafeteria Christians, you might want to study your bible a whole lot closer if even I can call bullshit on you!

“Dawn dish soap, vinegar and epsom salt is the best all-natural weed killer” – Yes, it’s so natural that the weeds just die from natural causes or from frost kill in the winter. Hey, dumbass, epsom salt is not actually salt, it’s magnesium sulfate. In other words, it’s a hydroponic nutrient. Vinegar is only 5% acid in distilled water, the most it will do is lower soil pH for about an hour. If you want to kill weeds, you need to use real salt, sodium chloride, Einstein.

“The Christmas star will be making its appearance this year on December 21st, share this and be blessed!” – You fucking retarded Facebook users will believe anything that appears on your screen, especially if it’s accompanied by a Photoshopped image. How in the flying fuck do you not realize how easily had you are? Exactly when was that picture taken (in color) if it only happens once every 500 years? Please, just get the fuck off the internet already!

“Facebook is blocking pictures of Santa and baby Jesus, I’m posting this and taking a stand!” – Well, isn’t that precious, you’re taking a stand for two fairy tales at the same time. Listen, you special-ed case. If you posted that picture, then that means Facebook’s AI really isn’t blocking it. You’re not that smart, you’re not that fast, and you should not be allowed on the internet. Retard!

“I just took this quiz to find out what kind of potato I am” – Incredible, you’ll spend 15 minutes to find out that utterly useless bit of bullshit information, but you won’t spend one minute to find out if something is true or not before you share it. Spare me the “better safe than sorry” crap, you’re already a sorry excuse for an internet user.

“Put sage, oregano, thyme and cinnamon sticks in your camp fire to keep mosquitoes away” – Sorry, female mosquitoes are the only ones that bite and they’re attracted to heat and carbon dioxide. You couldn’t burn enough herbs to make yourself invisible to a mosquito and Deet isn’t made from herbs, douche bag.

“Endless stream of pictures of sick, disfigured or maimed animals or children” – OK, you retarded Josef Mengele wannabe, nobody likes seeing this shit. You aren’t suddenly making anybody spring into action to solve these problems. At best, you’re making a whole lot of people want to spring into kicking your ass for being nothing but a daily online freak show. Fuck head!

“Facebook is blocking The Lord’s Prayer, Facebook jail – here I come…” – You complete fucking moron! If Facebook was blocking that or pictures of the twin towers coming down, their AI wouldn’t have even let you post it. If their facial recognition can find you in a picture in less than a second, then you sure as hell aren’t fast enough to post anything that they won’t detect in the same amount of time. Get off the internet already!

“Endless posts of music videos that I’m watching on YouTube right now” – Hey, retard, if you fancy yourself a DJ, just create a Pandora playlist and share that. I honestly don’t give two rat’s asses what your musical preferences are, but your newsfeed spam is seriously fucking annoying and annoying everybody else is all that you’ve managed to accomplish today. Nobody is impressed.

“If you are my true friend, share this post. Ignore it if you are a fake.” – How about I just save both of us the grief and block you for being an incurable idiot? Fucking act your age already instead of acting like stupid high school twit. Guilt tripping or shaming people for not acting as stupid as you should be dealt with using a serious ass kicking until you snap the fuck out of it.

“Endless stream of political posts and political comments on non-political posts” – Listen up you Facebook educated idiot, if you were that much of a political expert, you’d have a job in politics at least at the local government level. The more you broadcast how much of an expert you think you are, the more people realize how much of an idiot talking head that you actually are. Shut the fuck up already.

“Share this post to be registered in our drawing, the last winner drawn was only 17 and ineligible” – Seeing that the page transparency section on their page shows that it was just created yesterday, exactly when was this first drawing? Don’t you Facebook idiots even try to figure out if something is a scam or not? Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you people?

“Every picture of a car accident always ends up being the result of texting and driving” – Hey, Captain Gullible, proof or it never happened. I could caption the same pictures and say that Bigfoot body slammed the car. We get it, you’re against texting and driving. Who isn’t? Just stop posting this stupid shit already.

“In accordance with the Rome Statute, I hereby forbid Facebook from sharing my photos” – OK, ass-clown, this is the information super highway, look up the Rome Statute and see what it actually is. Secondly, when you signed up for a Facebook account, you clicked on a button that said “I agree” and never bothered to read what you were agreeing to. It’s their website and you already agreed that they can use anything you upload any way they want to. Get off the internet and stay off!

And, Finally…“Look at my endless photo stream of what I’m eating and/or drinking” – How about NO, fuck no, and who fucking cares? I have to wonder if Zimbabwe natives had cell phones and a data plan, would they constantly post pictures of whatever bugs they’re eating at the time? Why the hell don’t people realize just exactly how stupid this practice is? What’s next? Posting a picture of it in the toilet next day and asking people to guess what you ate/drank? Idiots, annoying fucking idiots!