If itโs on Facebook, then it absolutely has to be true!
As Iโve said many times, Facebook is easily responsible for dwindling the average IQ score in this country to a double-digit number and that number is decreasing in value daily. The shit that Facebook users fall for, even though itโs on Facebook (the worldโs greatest source of misinformation), just blows my mind. People that I took to be relatively intelligent, get on Facebook and the only message that they convey to the world is that theyโre a gullible slobbering idiot. Below are some prime examples of what Iโm talking about.
โIโm seeing too many ads, click here โ copy & paste, then repost to reset the systemโ โ Gullible douchebags like you are in the top 50% of the reasons why I walked away from that website. Really? You think your two-digit IQ is faster and smarter than the AI software running their data centers? Get the fuck of the internet already, retard!
โPut orange peels under your Christmas tree, they will keep your cat away from itโ โ Oh yes, thereโs no chance in hell that the cat will think theyโre toys to swat around under the tree and knock it over. I saw that one posted with a comment saying that itโs worth a try. Ummm, pulling your head out of your ass is worth a try too!
โFacebook is only showing me posts from 25 friends, until I coped and pasted this to beat the algorithmโ โ Bullshit, you fucking first-rate retard! Exactly how smart do you think you are? You canโt do long division on paper and you think you outsmarted their AI software? Would you get the fuck back on the short bus and finish licking the gawdamn windows?
โWhomever shares this post with an Amen shall be blessed with financial gainโ โ Really? God has a Facebook page now too? What ever happened to that old saying which states that money is the root of all evil? Fucking cafeteria Christians, you might want to study your bible a whole lot closer if even I can call bullshit on you!
โDawn dish soap, vinegar and epsom salt is the best all-natural weed killerโ โ Yes, itโs so natural that the weeds just die from natural causes or from frost kill in the winter. Hey, dumbass, epsom salt is not actually salt, itโs magnesium sulfate. In other words, itโs a hydroponic nutrient. Vinegar is only 5% acid in distilled water, the most it will do is lower soil pH for about an hour. If you want to kill weeds, you need to use real salt, sodium chloride, Einstein.
โThe Christmas star will be making its appearance this year on December 21st, share this and be blessed!โ โ You fucking retarded Facebook users will believe anything that appears on your screen, especially if itโs accompanied by a Photoshopped image. How in the flying fuck do you not realize how easily had you are? Exactly when was that picture taken (in color) if it only happens once every 500 years? Please, just get the fuck off the internet already!
โFacebook is blocking pictures of Santa and baby Jesus, Iโm posting this and taking a stand!โ โ Well, isnโt that precious, youโre taking a stand for two fairy tales at the same time. Listen, you special-ed case. If you posted that picture, then that means Facebookโs AI really isnโt blocking it. Youโre not that smart, youโre not that fast, and you should not be allowed on the internet. Retard!
โI just took this quiz to find out what kind of potato I amโ โ Incredible, youโll spend 15 minutes to find out that utterly useless bit of bullshit information, but you wonโt spend one minute to find out if something is true or not before you share it. Spare me the โbetter safe than sorryโ crap, youโre already a sorry excuse for an internet user.
โPut sage, oregano, thyme and cinnamon sticks in your camp fire to keep mosquitoes awayโ โ Sorry, female mosquitoes are the only ones that bite and theyโre attracted to heat and carbon dioxide. You couldnโt burn enough herbs to make yourself invisible to a mosquito and Deet isnโt made from herbs, douche bag.
โEndless stream of pictures of sick, disfigured or maimed animals or childrenโ โ OK, you retarded Josef Mengele wannabe, nobody likes seeing this shit. You arenโt suddenly making anybody spring into action to solve these problems. At best, youโre making a whole lot of people want to spring into kicking your ass for being nothing but a daily online freak show. Fuck head!
โFacebook is blocking The Lordโs Prayer, Facebook jail โ here I comeโฆโ โ You complete fucking moron! If Facebook was blocking that or pictures of the twin towers coming down, their AI wouldnโt have even let you post it. If their facial recognition can find you in a picture in less than a second, then you sure as hell arenโt fast enough to post anything that they wonโt detect in the same amount of time. Get off the internet already!
โEndless posts of music videos that Iโm watching on YouTube right nowโ โ Hey, retard, if you fancy yourself a DJ, just create a Pandora playlist and share that. I honestly donโt give two ratโs asses what your musical preferences are, but your newsfeed spam is seriously fucking annoying and annoying everybody else is all that youโve managed to accomplish today. Nobody is impressed.
โIf you are my true friend, share this post. Ignore it if you are a fake.โ โ How about I just save both of us the grief and block you for being an incurable idiot? Fucking act your age already instead of acting like stupid high school twit. Guilt tripping or shaming people for not acting as stupid as you should be dealt with using a serious ass kicking until you snap the fuck out of it.
โEndless stream of political posts and political comments on non-political postsโ โ Listen up you Facebook educated idiot, if you were that much of a political expert, youโd have a job in politics at least at the local government level. The more you broadcast how much of an expert you think you are, the more people realize how much of an idiot talking head that you actually are. Shut the fuck up already.
โShare this post to be registered in our drawing, the last winner drawn was only 17 and ineligibleโ โ Seeing that the page transparency section on their page shows that it was just created yesterday, exactly when was this first drawing? Donโt you Facebook idiots even try to figure out if something is a scam or not? Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you people?
โEvery picture of a car accident always ends up being the result of texting and drivingโ โ Hey, Captain Gullible, proof or it never happened. I could caption the same pictures and say that Bigfoot body slammed the car. We get it, youโre against texting and driving. Who isnโt? Just stop posting this stupid shit already.
โIn accordance with the Rome Statute, I hereby forbid Facebook from sharing my photosโ โ OK, ass-clown, this is the information super highway, look up the Rome Statute and see what it actually is. Secondly, when you signed up for a Facebook account, you clicked on a button that said โI agreeโ and never bothered to read what you were agreeing to. Itโs their website and you already agreed that they can use anything you upload any way they want to. Get off the internet and stay off!
And, FinallyโฆโLook at my endless photo stream of what Iโm eating and/or drinkingโ โ How about NO, fuck no, and who fucking cares? I have to wonder if Zimbabwe natives had cell phones and a data plan, would they constantly post pictures of whatever bugs theyโre eating at the time? Why the hell donโt people realize just exactly how stupid this practice is? Whatโs next? Posting a picture of it in the toilet next day and asking people to guess what you ate/drank? Idiots, annoying fucking idiots!
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